Torn in Half

We all know it but it comes down to actually saying it out loud for me. Being separated SUCKS!!!! My husband and I are on a volunteer "deployment." Before anyone gets any thoughts that my husband is state side and happily studying his butt off to do better in the Marines, it is me who is on a volunteer deployment.

At the end of May my wonderful brave sister in law (SIL) was put on restricted bed rest at a hospital in Atlanta while pregnant with my newest nephew. I was asked to come home and help take care of my 5 year old nephew and 3 year old niece. I flew into ATL airport at the end of May. I have been in Georgia since (minus a few days for the Independence Day).

Now I am three days from going back to my life in California and time cannot go fast enough. It also is a glimpse into what my future will hold. I believe that I have been able to handle our separation better then some could. Given I have had a 3 year old and 5 year old to keep my mind of things and a wonder family that supports Christopher and I every step of the way. But I believe that this feeling of emptiness will be this same whether is am on a "deployment" or he is. Are we meant to always meant to feel half empty.

Half my heart will always be separated from me. I  have given my husband a part of my heart and he will always have it, but our family has the other half. I always feel like I am torn in pieces. I am never with my whole heart at once. Does anyone else have this issue?