New Frustrations

All right I am having problems with keeping my spirits up for my weight loss right now. I don't know what I am doing wrong anymore. One week of being a "woman" and I am right back where I started. Thankfully I have not touched that 200 pound mark again but this is ridiculous.

I have been at this for months now and all  I have to show for it is several foot/ankle injuries and sweaty clothes. I know I can do this I have done it before..... I mean I was huge my senior year of high school and a in less than a year I went for a size 14 jeans to a size 7, I know I can do this and again right before my wedding I dropped the same weight again. But the last two times it seemed effortless, I didn't even notice that I was losing weight, I didn't noticed until I started to gain it all back.

Why does this time feel so different? I have never been over 200 pounds in my life, I have never had to deal with injuries everyday because of minimal physical activity, I have never dealt with disease, and I HAVE NEVER felt so ashamed of my body the way I do know.

I am a hard time finding the strength in myself to do this anymore. I don't have the support system that I had back in Georgia with my family and 99% of the time I feel alone now. The friends I do have out here has probably never had to deal with weight gain in their lives and are the size of poles. That makes this WORST!!!! I am the biggest marine wife in Monterey county and I can't feel pride for my husband when I look disgusting standing beside him... I don't want to give up but I am tired of this roller coaster.

MY WEIGHT LOSS ROLLER COASTER 

Me at my biggest in High School 

Me after my first year of college

Third year of College

Small Again at my wedding

Me just last Month